Okay, hands up, this promise
about the Magic Bullet doing no more 35 minute ear-bleeders for the REM
Challenge, it's not really working out, is it? If we're brutally honest,
we've actually been rather enjoying doing 35 minute ear-bleeders. Yes, we do
have some sympathy for Elling Lien, the main man behind this epic challenge.
He trusted us. And we betrayed him with that Criminal Duplet track.
As if RFA hadn't been more than enough for most people to withstand
in the first place. I knew in my heart that this month, we
should do something gentle, a soft folk ballad perhaps, maybe find some
beautiful harp samples to include, how lovely would that be? But, and that
well known saying has ne'er been truer; the best laid men of mice with
"Skit got list of ideas!"
He passed me the torn scrap of
cereal packet he'd been writing on. In crayon. It was a list headed
'Noisiest Power Tools', which he'd underlined with a particularly thick red
"Skit like power tools." He
"Jackhammer is just the
American name for a pneumatic drill, dickhead," I pointed out, "we've done
"Chop saw!" He shouted, "We do
"So," I paused for dramatic
effect, "you're suggesting that, in spite of our promise not to, we give
those nice people who go to all the trouble of organising the REM Challenge
another 35 minutes of painful noise?"
"Works for me."
power tool facts # 35...
A chop saw is actually known in
the UK as a mitre saw!
When my then 89 year old mum
heard us checking the track out on the home hi fi system, she recoiled in
"Oh what an awful noise," she
sobbed pitifully, "it reminds me of all the death and destruction in London
during the blitz."
And that's why we called the
track "Wartimes", which by some strange coincidence, just happens to be an
anagram of 'mitre saw'. Small world. Look, Elling, a word of advice; can I
recommend you get some ear-protectors sometime over the next month?